6 | OF WRAPPER AND CHOCOLATE

(I cannot describe to you what kind of urge that I had in my heart when this thought hardly struck my mind. It made me wanted to write about this so bad and I had this when I was revising this for my final paper in my seventh semester #lol. There is not much for me to write about it but, the urge is an urge after all, is it not?)

Anyways, there are few things about chocolate that makes it just so damn addictive – Thank you god for your creation. Firstly, duhh, chocolate is so good that it makes me want to have it all the time even though over consumption of it would make me sore my throat (because I am greedy like that haha). Secondly, I can have it anywhere and anytime I want; while chatting, while reading, watching some movies, sitting on the sofa, listening to songs, dude just name it and the wild list goes on.  You see, once you have a bite of it, the needs of having it keeps on coming that you do not even mind of having it anywhere. I am sure everyone has experienced it and you know what I am trying to tell. Thirdly, obviously there are a lot of other tempting selection on those racks but still, I have my own favourite flavour and that very flavour is the one that I will choose in the end. I do not know about you, but I am that kind of person who sticks with my own favourite. Off topic but this is real though. Every time I go to Pancake House, even though there’re a river of flavours on that menu I’d still going to order classic pancakes, white chocolate macademia cakes at Secret Recipes, vanilla flavour in whatever food that I am going to eat, green tea at Starbucks, yada yada yada. Next would be the electric rush that runs inside of my body when I see it.  It makes me feel relieved and at ease. The joy that I get is enough to make my hearts go all excited, lively, and frisky. I could even merrily jump or hopping out of exhilaration you know. Lastly, when I have it over some songs, all memories come and walk in my head. Heads up, I have not gone mental but sometimes I can almost feel that they are strolling, lingering and playing in there haha.  Nonetheless, the sad part about this comes when I think about the wrapper. Eventually, the chocolate that I have will be all eaten and all that would be left is the wrapper. Unlike chocolate, which I get to taste every bit of its goodness, its unexplainable warmth and its invisible happiness, the wrapper works only as the story of it. It is undeniably true that it has all the ingredients written on it and where it is made but it would never works the same way as the chocolate does.  Plus, who the hell bother to read the wrapper after all? But hey, the wrapper is the one that keeps the chocolate alive, am I right?

To the ones, whom I dearly love, I am actually trying to describe you in some ways that I cannot explain. The pots of love boils but I am a pathetic person who does not know to utter the words of love in my speech. Yes,the wrappers will always be my favourite and do know that you are my favourite chocolate – Thank you god for your creation.  #MetaphorsIntended

5 | COLOURS IN THE CONFETTI

Once upon a time, in a box of confetti inside a soirée factory, there was this colour, she was either being so warm or so cold, not really a friend of many, she uttered words out of spontaneity before a thorough mind check, can be too clueless at times but most importantly she was colourless. One day, she met Pink, a colour that loves diversity. To her, even though Pink afraid to almost everything that could scare her, Pink had a bubbly personality. She was clean as fish, cracked jokes without being offensive, wise thinker, and very good with what she was doing with. Colourless then met Yellow, whom to her someone who had a motherly side of her though she got no other shades of yellow for her to grow up with. She had lively laughs, sweet family and cute neat handwriting. Other things about Yellow, she valued her friends, tried to spend as much time as she could and she tried to help people with what she had.  There was another colour-Green-so smart, so naive, very good at storytelling, likable, loves to sleep and well taken care by her parents. When there were some uncertainties, she was so far a very rational colour that Colourless had ever met. It was rare that she encountered such colour that was not judgemental and very polite of her words. Colourless had them as friends nevertheless being a colour that was quite bad at keeping friends, she did something that other colours disliked but she did not know that. With all honesty, she just wanted to let her walls down but she did it wrongly and she did not realize for she got carried away. How stupid and self-centered she was and with the existed distance that had estranged her to her friends, she knew there must be something that she had done and with all might she gathered, she met Green and Pink to apologize. She apologized to Yellow too. She needed her friends back though she knew things will never be the same way because Colourless hurt them so badly but she knew diamonds weren’t glass. Finding diamonds among glass were no one’s easy task, even if she had to touch every glass that could bleed her hands just to save what she needs, bleed the hands away. Years passed and Colourless became Colourful but she knew that one day, they were going to be out separately once the box of confetti was popped. There was another thing that ones should know, throughout all of these things that had happened, there was Glitter, she subtly there but she was the one who kept Colourful, Pink, Yellow and Green together closer and adding sparks to their life. Though Glitter was sometimes subtle, but she never fail to shine even when she was on her own and she too, complemented these colours prettily. Colourful appreciated the life that she had while she was in the box and before she was out on another place to set, she wanted to thank her Maker for putting her in the same box with them. Colourful learned so many things and as what from other colours of other boxes said, Colourful, Pink, Yellow, Green and Glitter were so beautiful together. Well, it’s kind of true, just imagine, when Colourful, Pink, Yellow, Green and Glitter in a box of confetti were popped out at once, how beautiful they could be to the ones who see them, especially to the people in the soirée 🙂

4 | ME AND I

“…I will ablaze…”

Weak is tiring,

giving up is never the way.

I am broken,

life keeps getting harder.

I am falling,

none is there to catch me.

Seven years apart and reunite,

but never met and never together.

Death is Grimm,

but life is a death for me.

Fire I am now,

aflame and be my own light and warmth.

I will burn myself,

but I shant stop.

I will ablaze,

for this fire are hopes.

3 |MIND & HEART

Long story short, I have complications when these two conflict. When my heart is so lost, my mind always to try to put my body on its way. People always say, let your mind be the owner of your heart bla bla bla but being a girl, heart is the one who drives my mind. It is bad, no doubt, for when I am lost this head seems to be so idiotly useless and all stupid thoughts come out. All I want is a peaceful thought and by peaceful thought, I want to be happy. Sometimes I asked to the wall “Dude, why is it so hard?”. You know, some parts of me are already giving up about this happiness thingy but some other parts of me, they still want to taste the sweet dew of being loved, being in love. That is the thing about dew, it makes you crave for it. Dang it, the fairies and sprites are right about this. Truthfully, these two will never work wonderfully together till the one whom I longed for comes back.

2 | THE CAKES OF ALL

To be honest, clattered minds are not the only reasons why I want to write on a very first place. I am just like other girls whose mind is like a boat on an ocean and honestly there are some few things that other people could not understand. I do know that sometimes I am thinking with my knees, especially when it comes to my personal feelings. Like the personal thing but that what makes me a girl, a heartbroken girl.

I want the things that I think of and write about make people ponder or maybe create a space for their own escapism. I really do.  I am being way too ambitious about this right now am I not?  A unicorn might be even born before people found and read my blog (hehe) but who knows right?

Just truly, deep down I am actually hoping that one fine day the person I dedicate my writings to will be reading this and know my real feelings. By that time, maybe everything is too late but I could go somewhere with peace of mind for at least I have told the words of my heart.

I told you before, I hate regrets.

1 | DESSERTS FOR THE SOUL

Continuously growing up in each different day, I realized that I have been keeping my mind very busy up to the point where I feel so many regrets for letting these thoughts died without a chance of living, without a chance of being born.

So I decided to write.

Write, so that I could tell to some random strangers who are probably reading this about what or how I feel, what I think and who knows, they might have the same thoughts as I do but they are just too afraid that some people would not have those kinds of thoughts.

Some burden are too complicated for me to tell so other people could understand, this, would at least give me exits from these clattered mind.

I am not a professional writer I tell you. So I hope you don’t expect rich metaphors or symbolism in my writings (haha)

It’s just, I write so I can feed my soul with some desserts.

Feed them as much as I want to without having no regrets.